Vinte anos depois continuo a imaginar no que seria a vida se ela cá estivesse. Não quis o destino que assim fosse. Partiu numa madrugada fria. Mas eu só soube que jamais iria ouvi-la e vê-la de manhã cedo quando me ligaram do hospital. Adivinhei. Estava tão doente, tão frágil, a minha Sandra Sofia!
Hoje,ainda me pergunto por que não terei adivinhado que pouco tempo nos restava para estarmos juntas quando estava a seu lado na noite anterior à sua partida .
No frigorífico da salinha de estar do hospital ficaram os morangos que ela queria dizendo-me esperançada: Mãe, se eu amanhã estiver melhor...
Vivo das memórias do seu riso, do seu abraço, da sua voz. Recordo a sua teimosia e pergunto-me por que não quis seguir outro caminho.
Sofri muito. E chorei, se chorei! Não sei se soube ou não fazer o luto. Não culpei Deus pelo que aconteceu à minha filha. Culpei-me por ter não ter conseguido afastá-la dos perigos da vida e de não ter meios para a salvar, mesmo sabendo que a Sida não tem cura.
Passei a relativizar a importância dos dias. E cada vez mais vivo como se cada dia fosse o último.
Se o tempo cura tudo? Não creio! A dor de uma mãe que perde a sua única filha é incurável!
1 comentário:
Good morning, how are you?
My name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys travelling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because trough them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately, it is impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are very small countries with very few population, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this, I would ask you one small favour:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Timor Leste? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Timor Leste in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Avenida Juan de la Cierva, 44
28902 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally, I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez
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